November 2, 2016
My downstairs neighbours, a retired couple, keep asking me how many cats I have. They smile smugly when they ask and use a tone that implies, ‘So, you strange and slightly nutty person with glasses and curly hair, how many cats do you have NOW?’
I’d like to reply that it’s a private matter or shake things up with a few questions of my own: ‘So, what does the term “my own personal chicken” mean to you?’
Of course, I don’t do either of these things. I reply politely that I have two and a half cats. They’ve heard this several times now but they still laugh and repeat, ‘Two and a half?’ Yes, I reply, two and a half. ‘Two and a half?’ they repeat again. Yes, I reply. ‘One of the cats is very old so she doesn’t count as a full cat.’
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